LOST PART 1

Hi there! Welcome to my late late late wedensday night update. Punch and pie will be served later in the meeting.  Time and again, John and I have mentioned our obsession with finding a weekly television show that we can obsess over - kind of like watching a soap opera, only once a week, and not gay. I thought it would be fun to comment on our newest obsession show, to share the evening’s entertainment, as if we were all in the same office, gathered around some sort of central meeting point for casual discussion. Say a water cooler of some sort or something.

Well, this year, we, like many other viewers across the country have found ABC’s Wednesday offering Lost. For those of you who are unfamiliar, Lost is an hourly show that follows the survivors of a plane crash on a remote tropical island. Each week, we learn a little more about the past lives of our castaways as they learn about each other, and struggle with trusting complete strangers thrown together by circumstance with their survival. Did I mention is seems that there is some kind of monster on the island? Well there is, just for fun. I have decided that the show should be called Screwed, because every episode ends with a cliffhanger moment showing us just how extra screwed these folks are.

I thought it would be fun this week to bring folks up to speed on all of the show’s characters. WARNING: what follows may contain spoilers if you haven’t yet watched the first few episodes, or if you are an intern.

Doc: O.k. His real name is Jack, but I refuse to learn any of the character’s real names. I prefer to refer to them by the labels I have imposed. (This could be why I have so few friends in life.) Doc is, and was in his former life, a doctor. Apparently, he was on his way home from Australia with the corpse of his father for a funeral, when the plane went down. He’s the show’s hero, so most of the action centers on him.  When he first came to in the debris of the crash, his medical instincts kicked in and he started triaging the wounded. Ever since then the others seem to look to him as a take charge kind of guy. He will become our reluctant leader.

Tough Chick, a.k.a. Kate: She’s our heroine and love interest for Doc. We found out in the first few episodes that she is actually a criminal who was being extradited back to the US by a Federal Marshal when the plane went down.  Although we haven’t yet learned what her crime was, we have seen that she is a criminal with a heart, and not a cold blooded killer. She is going to be Doc’s pillar of strength, both physically and emotionally. Also, we got to see a shot of her in her scanties, bathing in the ocean, and that’s not so bad.

Brother a.k.a. Boone: He’s the brother of Bitchy Chick. They spend a lot of time bickering. This seems to be Boone’s whole purpose in life. I’m sure we will be allowed to slowly appreciate Boone’s long suffering relationship with his sister, just in time for him to be killed off in some meaningful way.

Charlie, a.k.a. Charlie: I have no idea why I let him keep his name. He was in a famous rock band before the crash. He even still has a bag of dope stashed away that he occasionally dips into. He’s a follower of Doc and Tough chick, kind of a side kick. Over the course of the show, we will see him struggle to find an identity, since he no longer had the mask of celebrity to hide behind. Also, sooner or later, he’s gonna have to kick the drug habit.

Hurley, a.k.a. Fat Guy: I like Fat Guy. Maybe some identification issues on my part, but whatever. He’s trying real hard. After the crash he spent his time gathering supplies, and deviding them up. He also started trying to learn to spear fish with a homemade spear. He’s always helping out whatever project is going on and is very proactive in getting people to work together. My hope is that the other survivors will start looking to him as a second to Doc, since he’s in the thick of everything.

Bitchy Chick a.k.a. Shannon: She’s cute, and possibly wealthy, or at least from a well off family, the kind of girl who never had to do anything for herself. She and brother bicker constantly. She is slightly more useful then he is though, because she translated the French help beacon that was discovered. She will be forced to become a better person when Brother gets killed and/or eaten by the monster.

Michael a.k.a. Black Guy: Black guy is stranded with his son. They never got along before, now they he is forced to be a father. Whatever.

Arab Guy a.k.a. Sayid: He’s ex-military. So he’s going to be the tech guy who can operate a radio (we’ve seen this already) or fix the gas generator when they find the secret government base or whatever the hell is on the island. That’s about it.

Walt a.k.a. Kid: Walt is Michael’s son. He has a dog that managed to survive the crash. Heart tugging bonding scenes to come.

DickHead a.k.a. Sawyer: Sawyer is a prick. He looted the bodies, and has a secret stash of cigarettes and the like, which he is using to barter with the other survivors, rather than share for the common good. He has picked fights with almost all of the other major cast members, most notably, accusing Arab Guy of being a terrorist who caused the plane crash. Nobody Likes Him Very Much.

Bald Guy a.k.a. Locke: My other personal favorite on the show. Bald Guy used to be obsessed with military games and survivalist crap. In fact he had been in Australia to go on some sort of Outback walkabout/survival program. But he wasn’t allowed to participate in any of that kind of stuff, because he was in a wheel chair, paralyzed from the waist down. For as of yet unknown reasons, the crash caused his legs to start working again. He had packed a shitload of knives for his trip, and has now proven his usefulness by hunting down a wild boar to feed the group.

Japanese Guy a.k.a. Jin: He and his wife are alienating themselves from the group- As his choice. He has decided that none of these strangers are trustworthy, so he has commanded his wife to always stay by his side, and to speak only in Japanese. He won’t talk English either. But, he is testing the waters of friendship. He seems to know a good bit about fishing and seafood, and has offered some people some kind of cut up sea Urchin. Will he find out too late that he cannot survive without the group?

Asian Chick a.k.a. Sun: Obedient Asian wife. Black Guy accidentally got to see her topless at one point, but we the audience only saw her back.

Prego a.k.a. Claire: Only hot chicks were allowed to survive the crash. Even the pregnant chick is good looking. She really has nothing else going for her now other than being PG. But that’s enough drama for her I guess.

O.K. predictions for next week: Asian Chick has been softening to Black Guy as she watches his struggles to reclaim his father/son relationship. Asian Guy misinterprets this care, and attacks him, thus earning a place handcuffed to the wreckage. The monster will run wild on the beach. In the panic, Black guy comes for revenge with a fire axe. But wait, what’s this? No, Black guy cuts Asian Guy free, so he doesn’t get eaten alive by the monster. The two become friends.

Bald Guy finds out about Charlie’s addiction, and helps him beat the habit. Thus cementing Bald Guy’s role as Guru, and allowing Charlie another step towards finding his own personality.

Also I think the whole group will finally decide that they need more shelter than just the one crappy tent that Doc made for a hospital.